Skip to main content

How Sewing helped me with Body Shame...

I'm not the average girl from the videos
And I aint built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen...India Arie



I wanted to do something a little different today and that’s start a dialog…

It’s always amazing to me how the things that come out of people’s mouths require a preface…like *WARNING: WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY IS UTTER NONSENSE*


Now it’s no secret that I’m a curvy woman…been like that my whole life…it’s in my family’s genes! What can I say? Thanks Grandma!!


Now while I made a little joke…the things I’ve heard over the years and most recently have left me a little disheartened…

“Girl, why are you working here? You should be a stripper/dancer”

“With a body like that I would be in videos”

“Now you know YOU need a blazer on with that dress!”

“Looks like you are hiding a Smurf under that dress!”

“You look like Barney today!”

“Your outfit is too much today!”

“You are too big for that!”




And these are just a few of the comments I’ve heard recently and did I mention that this all took place at work!!!

 I’ve always been the type of person to smile, even if something may or may not hurt my feelings and I used to internalize my feelings. So I ask you, when does it cross the line?


THEY ALWAYS CROSS THE LINE!!!!



I always felt objectified by  my body, I’ve never been the one to dress provocatively and or flaunt my body in that kind of way. When I was raped at knife point I often wondered if what I was wearing reason enough to target me. Of course I know now that there is absolutely no reason for anyone to be assaulted. However, that man stole more from me than my innocence and virginity…he stole my potential self-worth!!

What people don’t realize when they make such asinine comments is that I wasn’t always the self-confident woman you see in my pictures. Such comments cause me to sometimes go to an emotional place that I care to leave in the past. I still have some insecurities, but I’ve gotten much better these days and that’s due in large part to sewing. 

It took me what feels like a lifetime to feel comfortable in my skin and while I may not physically be where I want to be,  but I'm working on it. Sewing allowed a confidence to grow in me that I never knew that was within me; and I am super excited to see where it takes me! (See some of my favorite pieces below) Sew with that being said, I've learned to embrace my curves, swerves, bumps and rolls, and I won't let what other people say deter me from growing and neither should you!

I'll even give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you don't realize that's what you're doing but if you are someone who feels the need to body shame, think twice and instead say something nice...you never know the #BACKSTORY

So if you’re a size 2 or a size 22, despite what people say, love yourself enough to know that WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

















 
 
 



    And remember as always my loves, Until next time
Keep it Sassy, Classy, Sexy, Period.
HEY LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ON THE SUBJECT...LEAVE ME A COMMENT BELOW!

Comments

  1. I can relate. For years I wore oversized tops and wide paats to hide my butt. I've been called Trudi with the big ol bootie for as long as I can remember. I used to bother me especially when I was a much smaller size. I hated it. I hated my shape and wanted to alter it. Couldn't find a dress that fit.Couldn't do anything about the butt. Since then I have accepted my assets, and embrace my "voluptuous'ity'. I love my curves and though I don't like my parts being commented on. I use whitty comebacks to shut it down. I've told many ppl " you know how many women are faking my natural?"
    There are clothes I still will not wear as I don't want to attract negative attention, but to heck with what ppl think. I love my curves, and if I want to wear that knit pencil skirt, I will, but with an oversized shirt.. Lol.
    Rock your outfits, people can be quite cruel, sometimes they really don't think before they speak. While we cannot control their mouth, we can control our reaction.Love yourself first and govern ourselves accordingly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You look absolutely beautiful! Embracing your struggle and eluding confidence! I love it. This has helped me today. Thank you for sharing the beautiful person you are!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Omg!!!! I love this topic!!! Thanks for sharing it too. I deal with insecurities and what I can and cannot wear to work or anywhere! You just gave me pep in my step....I love it!!! Thanks Alica Crockett

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great job Lawana! Great story and even greater comeback. I loved the white and final black dresses.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love it I going to need u to show me or to help me to begin on how to make me some outfits

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love your topic Lawana, this can apply to so many areas of our lives. My skinny legs was what I got teased and made to feel ashamed of as a teen and young adult but I got pass that and I now embrace every single part of this temple that God created. I like everyone of your outfits, you wear them well Lady!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You always hear children are cruel bc of there lack of filter or judgement with limited knowledge, well some of them grow into Adult, but now it's just ignorance. I am so glad you found sewing, you are very creative and the Lord packaged you perfectly beautiful in the inside and on the outside. Keep Inspiring and you will continued to be Inspired ♡♡

    ReplyDelete
  8. You always hear children are cruel bc of there lack of filter or judgement with limited knowledge, well some of them grow into Adult, but now it's just ignorance. I am so glad you found sewing, you are very creative and the Lord packaged you perfectly beautiful in the inside and on the outside. Keep Inspiring and you will continued to be Inspired ♡♡

    ReplyDelete
  9. Speaking truth to power on what some might think of as a "fashion blog" is why you are you and amazing. This concept is not foreign to me at all. I wore a purple dress last year to a birthday party. I stood in the mirror and called myself everything from barney to grape kool aid. Then I said...."nope that doesnt hurt" and stepped out! What others say about you is neverbworse than you say about yourself and should not define you. Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  10. Speaking truth to power on what some might think of as a "fashion blog" is why you are you and amazing. This concept is not foreign to me at all. I wore a purple dress last year to a birthday party. I stood in the mirror and called myself everything from barney to grape kool aid. Then I said...."nope that doesnt hurt" and stepped out! What others say about you is neverbworse than you say about yourself and should not define you. Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are definitely walking in your season. I can totally relate. Like you, since I was a child I have had curves. I'm not sure if people even think before they speak. They utter total nonsense that could leave the recipient in a bad way if internalized. Thank you for sharing your truth. I pray it helps both sides, those who speak before they think and those who suffer in silence. Way to go Lawana, I see you moving forward!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I know how you feel having the body I have I'm always being told you built like a stallion, you a brick house, you have a coca cola body, you thick as grits, you have a stripper body...I have heard it all. It's a gift and a curse at the same time. I like to show off my shape not my body my SHAPE but then it comes with negative attention sometimes. And yes you should be able to wear whatever you want but it does make me second guess a lot of things I wear. But you have to be so secure with yourself that every comment is heard the same. So my response is always thank you LoL!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have dealt with the same thing which has caused me to be very outspoken when people try to insult me. Love your piece on this...Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  14. As a member of the club of curves,it took years (still a struggle), to fully embrace me. Lawana, you are fabulous and continue to do what you do!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#MiMicItMonday Featuring KIerra Sheard!

Happy Monday folks!!! So anyone who has been following my blog knows that I enjoy #MiMicItMonday! It's where I get inspiration from everywhere and I make an attempt to recreate the look. Let me first say that I have been a huge fan of KIerra Sheard since she was a little girl. I have loved watching her evolution especially in the fashion world.
 She started https://myeleven60.com/ and embraced the hashtag #LuvMyThick and at times that WAS hard for me to do, if you can believe it! Through my sewing and learning I am indeed Loving My Thick! I came across the peplum top yesterday on facebook on Kierra's page and I knew I had the perfect fabric to pull this off...Well here is KiKi"s and here's mine...let me know what you guys think!

To create this look I used McCalls 7021 for the top and Simplicity 1019 for the pants









So until next time,  Learn to Love Your Thick, and  Keep it Sassy, Class, Sexy, Period.

#FlashbackFriday!!!!/My most FAVORITE FABRIC FIND EVER!!!!

Before I jump into this #FlashbackFriday let me bring you guys up to speed... What a couple of weeks I’ve had!! You know when I started this blogging journey; I didn’t really know what I was getting into. Sewing is my sanity and if I didn’t have it, I might go absolutely mad! Since September I essentially was working 3 jobs (yes 3 jobs) Before Care, Day Job, and After Care. Now while this all took place in one location…I was drained working from 7am to 6pm. I started to notice that let alone was I not having enough time to blog; I was too exhausted to sew! My son who has Autism was doing okay at first but then started to have more frequent meltdowns. I also was in preparation to send my daughter back off to complete her senior year of college with financially issues!! So who do you think had a meltdown next? That would be me and I was not “Tickled Pink” about it! I had to do some reevaluating.

While I’m sure a lot of you might be saying “Show Me The Money”, I had to make a decision an…

I'm a Survivor!!!!!

I'm a survivor
I'm not gon' give up
I'm not gon' stop
I'm gon' work harder
I'm a survivor
I'm gonna make it
I will survive
Keep on survivin'- Destiny's Child




(Dress: Tickled Pink stretch denim and camo maxi dress)
I am the epitome of "I don't look like what I've been through", Weighing in a 3 lbs 5 ounces and 3 months premature I was born a survivor. My hope for this blog is to be a beacon of light and hope for someone that doesn't think they can make it... YOU CAN!! I am far from where I want to be, but right where I need to be!
I've been working really hard over the last few weeks to get this blog off the ground...and what better season than Fall, where the weather and fashion can change like the color of leaves...

Photo cred: Mr. B
I know you must be thinking "Why now? Why at this time?" Well, I will tell you why, there is a reason why I did indeed pick this particular time and "SEASON" to share…